<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Home, sweet home by TheRegularWriter</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117617">Home, sweet home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRegularWriter/pseuds/TheRegularWriter'>TheRegularWriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Even in the clutches of certain doom... you're happy to have each other [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>... until now, Anxiety, Arguing, Baking, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Canon Divergence, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Baggage, Emotional neglect, Family Issues, Found Family, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I am once again asking for you NOT to ship the boys, I love the CG but their parenting could be better let's be real, Introspection, Is this OOC? Perhaps, Lack of Communication, Lars' parents lowkey adopt Steven, Mental Breakdown, Not compliant with Little Graduation, Pink Steven Mode, Platonic Relationships, Please don't take this as hate though!, Please they're brothers, Rain, Rating May Change, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Self-Worth Issues, Slice of Life, Steven Universe Future, Steven-centric, Storms, There will be some criticism on the gems' parenting, This is probably the most self-indulgent fic I've written, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:34:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRegularWriter/pseuds/TheRegularWriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With nowhere else to go in the middle of a storm, Steven crashes at the Barrigas' house.</p><p>*Canon as of Snow Day!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Crystal Gems &amp; Steven Universe, Lars Barriga &amp; Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Even in the clutches of certain doom... you're happy to have each other [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573531</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>181</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Me: I won't be writing Lars &amp; Steven stories for a while<br/>Also me, posting this: <i>why the fuck you lyin'</i></p><p>... well, I did warn I could be inspired and post another, so x'D And so, my WIPs suffer in the back...</p><p>Again, this doesn't follow Little Graduation, so Lars stays on Earth for some more time and he and Steven grow closer. Honestly, this is just an excuse for me to write more domestic fluff (with a whole lot of angst and introspection) with these two. You can say this is the counterpart of <i>Those Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head</i>, while it's technically not a sequel or anything lmao.</p><p>I tried to change the formula a bit here just so it doesn't get repetitive but idk sjfhdkfhg</p><p>I hope you like it!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.</p><p>If his feet burnt like Ruby’s, he’s sure he would have left a trail of fire behind him.</p><p>He sees pink, not red. His eyes are blinded with a cocktail of confusion, loneliness and frustration. His face is beyond stained with already dry tears. It’s like he can’t listen to anything and anyone around him.</p><p>Steven only walks away from the beach, fierce steps close to crushing the ground, all the while he bumps into a few people; whether they’re gems or not is beyond him. Nobody stops him.</p><p>The boy isn’t sure where he’s going at all. There are the woods, he faintly recognizes, except he doesn’t think he can face Jasper right now – he doesn’t want to be reminded of how useless he is by her. Besides, as weird as it might sound for someone so frustrated, he has enough sanity to not want to knock down a tree, not today.</p><p>Also, he doesn’t want to be found. He’s going to think, <em>the gems don’t like this. They don’t like anything I do.</em></p><p>And here’s the thing, he’s not angry. Or, well, he’s not angry at <em>someone</em>, not anymore at least. He feels… rejected. Left aside. It’s always been this way, right? He’s always left behind, unless he works through it to prove himself.</p><p>(He’s so tired of that. Of proving himself every single time. Is he never good enough?)</p><p>… So, yeah, the woods are not his destiny tonight.</p><p>The sky today isn’t peaceful either. Dark clouds begin taking over the colored beauty, as it seeks the vivid sunset, the remaining sunshine rays. Steven half realizes that people are rushing for shelter from the rain, either protecting themselves under their homes or restaurants. He’s also hungry, having not eaten anything before things fell apart, yet he doesn’t believe he can face everyone else cramped in the same place, asking him questions, overwhelming him. They’re not going to understand.</p><p>Steven embraces himself; it’s what he can do about the storm that’s about to engulf the town, besides summon his shield to use as an umbrella, though it’s getting cold and dark very fast, and a pink shield is the last thing to guide him through it.</p><p>He doesn’t want to go home – the storm out here might not be as terrible as the one that should be awaiting him in the house. Either that, or he’s going to face <em>his</em> internal tempest all on his own, in his empty home.</p><p>So, the teenager keeps going. He walks and walks… the sky has almost lost its color completely to the threatening, dark gray. At this point, Steven only finds houses, no stores or restaurants. He can make it to a couple of them, having lived his entire life in Beach City, really.</p><p>For whatever reason, far from his mind right now, one house stands out for him. He stares at it, unsure if he should approach. Would he even be welcome? When he’s like <em>this</em>?</p><p>Yet when dangerous blasts alarm him, the boy instinctively runs there. The water begins coming down in isolated drops, that would soon gather their forces. Facing the door, Steven shakes his head and takes a few, deep breaths. Thankfully, his pink state fades faster than he expected.</p><p>Finally, the teenager knocks. The sound of the wind against the leaves rattles him. Although he’s seventeen, he’s still not huge on storms.</p><p>The opening noise jolts him back to reality, though he’s not at all expecting to see a long-haired woman in front of him.</p><p>“Oh, Steven! Hello,” Lars’ mom, Martha, greets him, confused while smiling in politeness.</p><p>Right, this isn’t just Lars’ home. Steven is really just that stupid.</p><p>“H-Hi! Hi, Mrs. Barriga,” He replies, whilst thinking of a good reason. “I… I was passing by and- I thought I’d check up on Lars?” He sounds far from honest, though all he wants is not give any full details on why he’s wandering in the middle of a thunderstorm. Martha seems suspicious, but, much to his relief, she doesn’t pry.</p><p>“Lars is here, he’s just arrived from work. He’s taking a shower upstairs.”</p><p>“Oh…” Steven's face falls. “Oh, okay. Yeah, well, I just wanted to say ‘hi’, but he probably wants to rest, s-so… I-I should get going—” He begins turning around, despite knowing there’s no safe exit.</p><p>“What? No, it’s dangerous out there! Don’t go yet,” She exclaims, causing him to look back. “You can stay here until the storm passes.”</p><p>The boy gapes for a few seconds, only to shake his head. “Wait, no- I don’t want to be a bother, seriously.”</p><p>“You’re not a bother, Steven. You’re Lars’ friend,” She reassures him with a sad smile. “And you’re always welcome here.”</p><p>Steven gulps, fearing she might catch his eyes growing deep. He cracks a smile in return, muttering a quiet, grateful, “T-Thank you.”</p><p>“Honey, who’s there?” A male voice asks from somewhere, only for Lars’ dad to appear. “Oh, hello, Steven! I didn’t know you’d be passing by. Especially not in a weather like this…”</p><p>“Uh, I j-just wanted to give you hi! I haven’t been here in a while,” Steven lies, rubbing the back of his own neck. He doesn’t think he has spent that much time with any of the humans in Beach City, now that he reflects on it. The Barrigas even less.</p><p>“Right,” The man looks as wary as his wife, but he keeps on a lighthearted tone. “Well, come on in! It’s good to see you, Steven. I’m sure Lars will be happy to have you here, too.”</p><p>The boy is guided inside, towards the couch. The house is warm and filled with scents of food. As a result, his stomach starts going haywire.</p><p>“Would you like anything?” Martha asks.</p><p>“I-I’m fine,” Steven reassures, mostly because he doesn’t want to be more of an inconvenience. Unfortunately, his stomach betrays him by rumbling as loud as possible. He glares at his belly for a hot second before muttering, “Sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.” She smirks and immediately rushes to the kitchen (perhaps knowing he would protest).</p><p>Meanwhile, Dante sits by the armchair near the bookshelf, wearing an amused smile at Steven’s stunned silence. Martha is back in no time with a plate of pancakes that look way too delicious for his own good. That, and a mug of what appears to be hot chocolate, are placed on the center table.</p><p>“Oh, this… this is really nice,” Steven says, unwilling to reject it; not with the smells attracting him. His cheeks warm up in embarrassment. “Thanks.”</p><p>She grins, expression reminding him of Lars’ own. “You’re welcome.”</p><p>Steven silently eats the pancakes and tries hard not to be loudly passionate about it, because holy smokes, are they <em>delicious</em>. He wonders if Martha is one of her son’s role models regarding his cooking skills – these are possibly the best pancakes he’s ever had.</p><p>“Do you like them?” Martha asks, even though she seems to know the answer with the amusement in her tone.</p><p>“Mmm, they’re so good,” Steven approves.</p><p>“Indeed, no one can resist her pancakes,” Dante comments from afar, causing her to smile bashfully.</p><p>Like that, Martha sits on the other corner, and it’s as awkward and silent as you’d imagine. He can sense both adults radiating worry with him in the room. They pretend they’re not looking, but they are, and it’s unsettling (while not annoying, he thinks). Steven <em>did</em> just come barging in their house, so it’s not like he can blame them.</p><p>They even try starting a conversation, while Lars doesn’t come down.</p><p>“So, Steven, how have you been?” Dante wonders.</p><p>“Good. I’ve been good.”</p><p>“Hmm.” The most suspicious hum he’s heard. “What have you been up to?”</p><p>“Nothing much. The usual, mostly. Helping the gems figure themselves out, explore the Earth. Going on intergalactic reunions and stuff. But lately, I, uh, I’m thinking of doing other things, you know? Other than running Little Homeschool.” Steven tries to sum it up as best as he can, without the most… hurtful details.</p><p>The man contemplates and nods. “Yes, it’s good to figure yourself out.”</p><p>There’s a pause before Martha speaks up, “Do you see Lars’ gem friends? I think they study there, too.”</p><p>“Yeah, I see them often. They’re really enjoying themselves.”</p><p>“I can tell.”</p><p>There’s another wave of silence between them.</p><p>“How has Lars been?” Steven wonders for once. “With everything at the school, I haven’t seen him too often.”</p><p>“He’s doing just fine. He’s been really happy, after opening his own bakery.” Martha smiles with pride. “We should thank you for that, if we haven’t already.”</p><p>“Aw, it was nothing, really.”</p><p>“We mean it,” Dante voices. “Our son has grown so much thanks to you.”</p><p>“He still talks about you,” Martha reveals.</p><p>Steven is… caught off guard by the comment. “Oh, yeah?”</p><p>“He really looks up to you, Steven, and for good reasons. You’re a brilliant kid,” The man compliments.</p><p>For a moment, the boy feels his chest not feeling so tight anymore. It’s like it’s being filled by a glowing ball as the little things come to him. Steven has never… well, quite thought Lars would admire him this way. Not after… <em>everything</em>.</p><p>The Barrigas are all so welcoming, when they have reasons not to be. Steven is the reason why Lars has returned pink at all. Why the adults have suffered so long with the latter’s absence. And yet here they are, giving Steven heartwarming pancakes and hot chocolate, as well as heartfelt compliments.</p><p>He shouldn’t be so overwhelmed by this.</p><p>“Well, um… thank you.” Steven swallows another piece of the pancake, averting his eyes towards the house itself.</p><p>The silence that follows doesn’t weigh on him much. It’s filled by the sounds of the rain outside, which doesn’t sound that much threatening now, despite the occasional thunder noises. Steven takes this as an opportunity to really… appreciate their surroundings. He’s never quite admired just how <em>alive</em> the Barrigas’ house is. There’s a lot of personality, so much color and history, thanks to the many photos that fill the walls and furniture. He finds a couple of young Lars in the living room; he’s smiling in one or two.</p><p>He’s distracted to the point where he almost jumps when Martha reaches the empty plate in front of him.</p><p>“Do you want some more?” She offers.</p><p>“No, I’m good. Really.” He’s saying the truth now.</p><p>She raises an eyebrow, but gets the plate back, while leaving the mug since Steven hasn’t finished it. He holds tight to the cup as a thunder roars out of warning, its warmth going through his veins. Meanwhile, he pays attention to the photos again, for once recognizing that some are Lars’ own artwork from long ago, like the ones at the kitchen like he memorized. He finds it nice. It’s nice that his parents love their son this way; they show how much they care for him, how talented he is.</p><p>There’s a more… recent picture standing near the television. In this one, Lars, already pink, is at where appears to be his bakery. He’s wearing his star-shaped plugs and he’s smiling like he never did before. He looks so happy.</p><p>
  <strike>Is this jealousy?</strike>
</p><p>There’s a tear threatening to fall, and he’s quick to dry it once Lars’ dad, who has been reading the newspaper, asks, “Do you want me to turn on the TV for you?”</p><p>“No, thanks.”</p><p>The man watches him from afar, and shrugs, eyes back to the paper. Martha returns, glancing at the stairs before going back to them both.</p><p>“Is there anything else we can do for you?”</p><p>“No, it’s fine… I’m fine.”</p><p>While they try not to make it apparent, he catches the worried eye signs they share with one another. Dante stands up soon after that.</p><p>“We’re going upstairs, but Lars should be coming down soon,” She informs him. “If you boys need us, don’t hesitate to call us, alright?”</p><p>“O-Okay. Um…” Steven gulps. “Th-Thanks again. For having me.”</p><p>They both smile at him. “You’re always welcome, Steven.”</p><p>With a last little wave from Lars’ dad, they leave him be. Once they’re out of sight, he lets go of the breath he didn’t realize he’s been holding for all this time.</p><p>The hot chocolate ends. In contrast, the rain won’t stop, gaining force at each minute. He looks at the window behind him, and the view is frightening, to say the least; it’s almost like a horror movie. A thunder roars, causing him to jump, and he almost wishes Martha and Dante came back.</p><p>Not letting go of the empty cup in his hands, Steven stares at the multitude of colors and love and appreciation in the walls, water almost blinding his eyes again. He sure is a complete <em>mess</em> today. A sigh comes out of him, when he reaches his pocket and grabs his phone. There are a couple messages that he doesn’t bother reading. He already knows what they say, and he practically feels pink burning his cheeks.</p><p>But almost simultaneously, footsteps come down the stairs, and Steven strives to swallow it back. Just with a mere glance, the boy recognizes his tall, pink friend. Lars is wearing a dark, nearly black sweater he’s never seen, as well as dark blue pants. His bright pink hair remains a bit wet from the shower.</p><p>“Hey, Steven! Mom and Dad told me you were here,” Lars greets him warmly. “Did they cocoon you too much?”</p><p>Steven forces out a little laugh. “Ha, not really. Your mom did give me a handful of pancakes, though. It’s cool.”</p><p>“Oh, man, her pancakes are my weakness.”</p><p>The younger doesn’t reply, if not for a weak smirk. Lars seems to keep a watchful eye on him as well. Is being so observant in their blood?</p><p>“So, what’s up?” Lars wonders, noting his silence. “You good?”</p><p>“I-I’m good. It’s good. I, uh… came here to see how you were doing.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m great, thanks. What about you? You’ve been busy lately, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s just Little Homeschool. But I think I’m…” Steven clears his throat. “I’m going to quit running it sometime. It’s been, I dunno. Too much for me.”</p><p>Lars hums. Yeah, he’s not buying it. Like his parents, he doesn’t question it.</p><p>“Okay, so… I’m gonna bake some cupcakes for the pastry shop now. If you wanna join,” Lars proposes.</p><p>“Y-You, um, you don’t mind?”</p><p>“’Course not, dude. You can help me if you want.” The older grins.</p><p>“Oh, uh… sure, yeah!” Steven feels like he should be focusing on something else rather than his own thoughts.</p><p>He follows Lars to the kitchen and so work begins. The pink boy provides them both two aprons, filled with many stars. Basically, Lars instructs Steven most of the time since he hasn’t baked in a long while. The latter grabs the ingredients when the former has his hands full, and it’s pretty much like that for the next twenty minutes or so.</p><p>Other than questions on the cupcakes they’re aiming for, Steven doesn’t talk. Rather than asking him why he’s so quiet, Lars tries to start a conversation, telling him about the times the Off Colors baked together with him, the first occasions leading to disaster; like the day they faced the feared baklava Lars mentioned so long ago.</p><p>While not exactly vocal in the conversation, Steven does try to imagine the Off Colors doing things like these together. Dirtying themselves with frosting, sugar, flour. Laughing together. Failing but never on their own. Just them dedicating their time to such an activity that doesn’t involve saving the universe. Such… a human activity.</p><p>(When Lars isn’t looking, Steven quickly wipes his burning eyes, striving to avoid the pink voice inside himself that is fighting to be heard.)</p><p>After that, the older teen attempts to include the other more. He asks Steven about him and the gems themselves, their daily lives as of now. He mentions some of the classes that Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst have been lecturing, but otherwise, he says nothing much.</p><p>“Nothing really new is going on.” Steven shrugs. “We’ve been fine.”</p><p>(Fine. He uses this word a lot. It’s automatic.)</p><p>That’s everything he says. Lars doesn’t insist anymore, perhaps getting the message.</p><p>The black-haired boy sits beside the other, who’s now mixing some frosting for the chocolate cupcakes that are cooling down. Steven doesn’t need to do much now, so his eyes are downcast, staring at the table and also at nothing. In his jeans pocket (since his pink jacket is hanging in one of the chairs), his cell phone vibrates a few times, but he ignores it. Beneath the stirring noises, the water is still resistant outside.</p><p>Lars’ voice brings him back to the kitchen, though.</p><p>“Hey, Steven? I think you have something on your face.”</p><p>Steven frowns. “What? Where—”</p><p>Out of nowhere, Lars… pokes his nose, a chill, creamy substance dirtying it. Steven blinks in alarm and that’s when Lars snorts, his serious façade breaking.</p><p>“Oh my god, you look like a lost puppy,” He laughs.</p><p>Steven touches his own nose and sees the small, white speck of frosting mix in his hand. He glares at his friend.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” He challenges and prepares for his attack. Lars dodges it, laughing harder, only for Steven to make more attempts. Soon, he manages to get more from the bowl and gets the cream all over the older’s cheek.</p><p>“Hey, no! Not fair!” Lars protests, pretending to be disgusted. He narrows his eyes and threatens, “You’re so <em>screwed</em>.”</p><p>What follows is a frosting war, filled with loud laughter and dramatic shrieks (most of which are from Lars). It also involves flour at some point, so their faces and hands are nearly white all over when they tire themselves out. Or, well, until they realize they’re out of frosting mix.</p><p>Steven has… laughed so much that his belly hurts, in the good sense. It’s the first time in days, maybe weeks, that he’s felt carefree, even if for a little while. He’s almost forgotten what brought him here at all.</p><p>Lars looks joyful, too. He seems to be enjoying Steven’s company.</p><p>“Okay, time out. I’m still winning, though,” The pink boy proudly claims, soon getting more flour thrown at his face.</p><p>“Yeah, right,” Steven teases, getting a snort in response.</p><p>After both have wiped most of the white mess from their faces, they dedicate to the new frosting mix. Lars sometimes threatens to get it on Steven again, but the latter makes sure he’s not caught off guard again.</p><p>Eventually, the two decorate the cupcakes together – though, in reality, Lars encourages Steven to do most of it. He does it with gentleness and care, so when they have the final product, the half-gem feels… good.</p><p>“Good job, dude.” Lars pats him on the back, getting a smile out of the other boy. There’s a bit of a thoughtful calm before he suggests, “Y’know… I could use some help at Spacetries.”</p><p>Taken aback, the younger dumbly stares at him for a few seconds. “Wait, really? B-But you did the most part!”</p><p>“No, we did it together. ‘Sides, you’re great at decorating. These look amazing.”</p><p>Steven follows his gaze, the cupcakes appearing to shine on their own. They… They do look stunning. He’s always found decorating to be an enjoyable step, really. Even more so than the baking part.</p><p>“Don’t feel pressured or anything, though; I just thought of that since you’re considering leaving the school,” Lars relieves him. “You do you.”</p><p>He might have rejected, but… the truth is, he’s so lost. He’s helped gems so much that he forgets so many other things in his life. So many… human things he could do. Steven has been so disconnected from them; this is the first time he’s allowed to (or he’s allowed himself?) to dedicate to such an ordinary pastime. And he… he loved doing it. Sure, helping Lars is worth it, yet he also liked putting something of himself in those cupcakes.</p><p>“It’s… It’s not a bad idea.” A genuine, hopeful smile is born on his face. He notes Lars’ hand is still on his back, while he also meets the pride and encouragement in his friend’s gaze. It feels nice.</p><p>Maybe he could do it. Maybe he wouldn’t feel so out of place anymore.</p><p> </p><p>His phone vibrates again, but it’s insistent.</p><p>It’s a phone call.</p><p>The hand behind him is gone (he already misses it), forcing Steven to take the device for once. Just a mere glance at the screen brings dread to his eyes. Out of spite, he almost wants to insist on ignoring it. Problem is, Lars is right there, and he’s going to be more suspicious than he already is.</p><p>“Uh, c-could you excuse me for a bit?” Steven already takes a few steps away, while making sure to get a confirmation from Lars; and thus, he sprints out to the front door to remain at the porch. The storm appears to have calmed down a little.</p><p>In contrast, he’s not sure about the one right in his own hands.</p><p>Steven sighs and presses the green button, bracing for it.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He definitely knows something is off.</p><p>Of course, he’s glad to see Steven again. They haven’t hung out in maybe months, not with Little Homeworld receiving more gem students over time. But even before seeing the kid, Lars’ parents came to him once he was all dressed up.</p><p>“He came here in the middle of the storm,” Martha said, sympathy growing in her tone. “He didn’t look well, but he wouldn’t say anything.”</p><p>“We didn’t want to make him uncomfortable with questions, but… something serious must’ve happened,” His father added.</p><p>They were really worried, and that was more than enough of a bad sign. Lars would soothe them by saying he would see what he could do to help. Hopefully, Steven would tell him what was up.</p><p>In the very instant he looked at Steven, he knew something <em>was</em> wrong. The boy’s eyes were puffy, possibly from crying a lot, and he looked very much defeated and lost but tried to mask it once he realized Lars arrived. And even then, he remained mute, not up to talk about literally anything when, in the past, he’d always been just boasting about his adventures. That would only change thanks to Lars intiating the little war they had at the kitchen.</p><p>Well, Lars is happy he was able to cheer him up a little, but once the kid’s phone rang, the older caught it. Resentment. Anguish. He couldn’t help but glance at the phone screen, though fast enough for Steven not to notice.</p><p>There was a thoughtful pause before the kid excused himself and headed outside (Lars doesn’t stop him since he notes the storm has weakened significantly). Since then, the older has been cleaning the kitchen, while attentive to all the signs. He already suspects what could have happened… though, should he really question Steven? He doesn’t want to pressure him but… seeing him so miserable <em>hurt</em>. He’s somewhat familiar with the fact that Steven isn’t someone who talks about his problems too much. Last time he’s been actually vulnerable around Lars was when they’d been abducted, for that matter.</p><p>He fears he didn’t reassure Steven enough that he could count on him. Though, he rejects the thought when he concludes that blaming himself is not going to help. He must be patient, even though that’s not something Lars is particularly good at. He can try, for Steven’s sake.</p><p>Besides, the phone call is still going on far from there. Maybe things can get better, so Steven is not so unhappy anymore. Lars holds onto that shred of hope, something rare if you ask him. Steven does inspire him to become more than what he is, that’s for sure.</p><p>The space pirate throws a glance towards the cupcakes standing on the table, smiling.</p><p> </p><p>A thunder explodes outside, but that’s not what catches him off guard.</p><p>Only a few seconds apart, there’s a loud scream. So powerful, that it’s almost like Lars can feel its vibrations hitting his senses, the walls useless to protect him.</p><p>The sensation, it’s… it’s not familiar in the slightest. It’s scary. But what scares him most is that he knows where it comes from.</p><p>He drops the dishcloth, and it’s like everything else blurs, since all he can focus on is getting to the door. Desperate, Lars opens it with force, for a moment fearing he’s going to knock it over.</p><p>“Steven? Steven, are you okay?!” He already asks, despite not spotting the kid at first.</p><p>Lars freezes where he stands when a pink light catches his eyes. A glow coming from a miserable figure that shrinks and is wracked with sobs.</p><p>“N-No, don’t- don’t look at me!”</p><p>The intonation is absolutely heartbreaking, and it’s even more so when Lars recognizes the other pink teenage boy.</p><p>“Steven, what…?” The words die out in his mouth.</p><p>He doesn’t understand why the kid’s glowing, but that’s far from what concerns him, since this could be some gem power or something. The point is, Steven can barely <em>breathe</em> because he won’t stop mourning, all the while hiding himself from Lars. The rain is coming down with all its force, though in the very least the crying boy isn’t under the dangerous water.</p><p>Distantly, he realizes other people are rushing there, too. Lars catches his parents coming, but he gives them a sign to stop, not wishing to overwhelm Steven even more. Thankfully, they understand and watch from afar.</p><p>Steven swallows a lump in his throat, which sounds painful to his ears. He manages to quiet himself down, only to let out a few words out of his breakdown.</p><p>“J-Just- Just give me a m-minute, okay?” The boy requests. “You can- You can go back inside, I’ll be fine, t-this is just some pink phase, I-I’ll…” He cries harder, whimpering with the cold, biting wind that attacks all of a sudden.</p><p>On instinct, Lars approaches.</p><p>“I’m not leaving you out here,” He ensures, firm (even though he feels like he’s going to break, too).</p><p>“No, i-it’s okay, I just need to calm down—”</p><p>“Dude, you’re not okay!” Lars exclaims; not because he’s angry, but because he’s worried, and frustrated at just how easily Steven dismisses himself.</p><p>“Please, l-leave me alone,” Steven begs, sniffing. “I’m this- this <em>mess</em>! I don’t want you to deal with me like this!”</p><p>The choice of words strikes the older teen, leaving him speechless for one long minute. Steven doesn’t dare look up, and with the storm becoming louder and unbearable, he hugs himself tighter.</p><p>Hesitant, but determined all at same, Lars tries again.</p><p>“Look, Steven, I get it. You’re not fine right now, but…” He sighs. “You’re <strong>not</strong> a burden for feeling like a mess, okay? You really aren’t. And you don’t have to feel ashamed.”</p><p>With a sniff, Steven raises his head, but doesn’t turn around. Lars is able to catch some of the tears coming out of his eyes.</p><p>“I know you want some space, and I can respect that, but can you please do that inside?” Lars begs, while not making it sound like an order, just a concerned request. “It’s not safe out here. I don’t want you getting more hurt than you already are. Pretty sure you don’t want that, either, right?”</p><p>Despite the storm, everything is silent, though Lars feels like he can hear Steven’s loud mind, thinking through the former’s words. That’s clearer when the kid finally faces him, teary eyes locking a hopeful gaze with his own. At that, the older gives him a supportive smile, and holds out a hand. Steven looks back and forth between Lars’ face and his hand.</p><p>Finally, the boy grasps his hand and is pulled back to his feet, as far away from the rain as possible. Once Lars gets him inside, his parents approach them.</p><p>“Oh, Steven, what happened?” Martha questions, in a heartbroken tone. Neither of them actively wonders why he’s pink, much to Lars’ relief.</p><p>With Steven unable to look at them in the face, Lars grips the kid’s shoulders comfortingly, at which he doesn’t flinch away from.</p><p>“He just needs some time for himself,” The taller teen tells them. “There’s a lot in his mind.”</p><p>“That’s fine,” Lars’ dad says. “You can stay as long as you need to, alright?”</p><p>“Do you want me to get you a blanket?” Martha offers. “You’re so cold…”</p><p>After a tentative glance towards Lars, Steven nods in silence. Both Lars and Dante lead him to the couch while Martha rushes upstairs to grab the blanket. At that, the captain remembers to get the abandoned pink jacket and hands it to Steven, who doesn’t quit shivering either way.</p><p>Soon enough, the crying kid is wrapped up by a space-themed blanket Lars remembers from his childhood (where did his mom get it, he might never know). Steven doesn’t contain a relieved breath while he relaxes in it, which calms everyone else down. After some other worried reassurances and offers, Lars is able to convince his parents to go upstairs and rest, not before Steven thanks them for everything. The boys are left on their own again, and Lars grabs his attention by a hand on his arm once more.</p><p>“Hey, I’m gonna go finish cleaning the kitchen,” He informs. “You stay here and rest, okay?”</p><p>Receiving another quiet nod, Lars goes to work on his task. From afar, he can’t help checking every now and then on the other boy, worried that Steven might run off or something. Though, really, at this point the kid might as well listen to him. Whatever mask he was holding until now seems to be completely gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm separating this into two chapters again because this got longer than I expected again ahgdjgshfh<br/>The next one will be up this week, hopefully!</p><p>BTW, did y'all see the new SUF episodes? Because this show is going to kill me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The self-indulgent fest has arrived, so I apologize x'v</p><p>... writing this after the newest SUF episodes honestly hurts me a lot more now ;-; by the way, <b>please avoid commenting spoilers!!</b></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he’s sure he’s alone, Steven doesn’t stop crying. Not only because of what happened outside, but also at how sweet the Barrigas are. He doesn’t deserve them, he doesn’t deserve any of this; and yet, he can’t bring himself to let go of the blanket he’s clinging to, nor leave their house.</p><p>He’s mostly silent as of now, aware that Lars is tuning in from the kitchen. Even so, the younger boy doesn’t feel like he should hide his glowing pink skin and hair anymore, not after what his friend told him just then. He’s soothed by those words, while half remembering that Lars doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t know that everything is Steven’s fault.</p><p>(Maybe Steven <em>is </em>that selfish.)</p><p>The seventeen-year-old can only stare at his own lap, tears wetting his blue jeans. He’s much warmer now, no longer dealing with the nonstop trembling from before. Added to that, Steven doesn’t feel his phone vibrating… Mostly because it’s not with him anymore, the deafening noise of it cracking into many pieces against the wet asphalt still heard, <em>felt</em>. God, what is he going to tell his dad? He’s so irresponsible. Stupid, stupid, <strong>stupid</strong>.</p><p>Steven lies down on the couch, turning his face away from the rest of the living room. He’s such a coward now. Real mature coming from the savior of the galaxy himself. Regardless, he lets the couch and the blanket swallow him whole, as he weeps miserably on his own.</p><p>He barely realizes Lars has returned when the older boy clears his throat. As soon as Steven shifts back to him, he finds his friend no longer wearing his apron and holding… one of the cupcakes they baked.</p><p>“Uh, hey…” Lars greets. “Thought you’d want to try our amazing creation?”</p><p>Steven stares back, unsure, hesitant. He wipes his face with his uncovered arm.</p><p>“But… I-It’s for your pastry shop,” He notes.</p><p>Lars rolls his eyes, in his humorous, annoyed wonder. “Gee, c’mon. You don’t have to accept it, just, y’know. It’s on the house – or <em>in</em> it, am I right?” He gestures at the rest of the environment.</p><p>The black-haired boy can’t contain a scoff in the middle of his sorrowing. “Har, har… fine.” He takes the cupcake.</p><p>It’s almost sad eating it, because it looks so well done… but he takes a bite and, unsurprisingly, finds it delightful; it’s almost enough to crack a smile out of him.</p><p>“I-It’s really good,” He says.</p><p>Lars smirks. “See? We make a great team.”</p><p>The last word shouldn’t sadden him the way it does, so Steven looks down in shame. He can tell the joy fades out of the space captain, since the latter stands in front of him for an eternity.</p><p>“Is, uh, is it okay if I stick in with you?” Lars asks. “Or I could go upstairs if you still want to be alone.”</p><p>Conflicted at first, Steven finally looks up and replies, “No, stay. Please.”</p><p>
  <em>I don’t wanna be alone right now. Isn’t that awful?</em>
</p><p>Lars observes him for a few seconds and nods, settling in next to the younger teen and relaxing on the sofa. Steven continues to eat the pastry in his hands, struggling with simultaneous guilt and comfort mixing up inside him. It’s almost sickening.</p><p>He ends the cupcake fast, nonetheless, and he returns to the silent square one. It’s not very calming, because he’s aware that Lars wants to know what happened; and yet he’s… being patient. Steven realizes how much of a good friend he is, then – letting him stay in, not pushing him to talk, giving him a pastry for free.</p><p>Like that, the seventeen-year-old concludes it’s wrong to lie, to keep hiding.</p><p>“I…” He opens his mouth, followed by a gulp and salty tears. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>(In a way, he’s also saying it for people not in the room, since he’s got no phone.)</p><p>“What… Why are you apologizing?”</p><p>Steven faces him, finding a puzzled frown. He gulps.</p><p>“W-Well, everything is my fault,” He explains. “I came here out of nowhere b-because I had no place to go, because I keep… <em>ruining</em> things.” He then glares at his own fists, quiet before muttering, “I’m so stupid.”</p><p>“Steven, hey,” Lars is quick to intervene. “You’re not stupid.”</p><p>“I am! I-I <strong>broke</strong> my cellphone!” He snaps, pink cheeks burning up. “I fought with the gems TWICE today! All because of these- these stupid feelings, and <em>this stupid pink state</em>-!”</p><p>“Steven—”</p><p>The boy growls. “Ever since I got this power, everything went wrong! I’m- I’m sick of it!”</p><p>He breaks down in aching sobs, proceeding to hide his face. “I-I just want this to <strong><em>stop</em></strong>. Please, make it stop, make it stop…”</p><p>“Hey, hey…” A hand slides around his shoulders, pulling him closer to a body.</p><p>“I d-don’t understand why this is happening, I don’t…”</p><p>Soon enough, Steven is burying his face in Lars’ shoulder, as fingers run through his black hair gently. The younger whimpers helplessly, though he’s melting in the contact. His head has been spinning with regret, but the touch is grounding him.</p><p>Lars says nothing the entire time, just keeps him close like this and allows him to let it all out. It helps Steven catch his breath again at some point.</p><p>When he does, Lars asks, “You, um, wanna lie down a bit?”</p><p>Sniffing, Steven nods and is lead to lie on a pillow that the other teen has just grabbed; and so the former is pretty much resting on the latter’s lap, something so intimate that he’s sure he’s only ever done with his father. He doesn’t reject it, and neither does Lars.</p><p>At last, Steven releases a deep, somewhat relaxed sigh. Lars follows him, though his sounds more worried.</p><p>“You… You don’t have to talk about what happened, but feel free to, okay?” The older reassures.</p><p>Holding his own hands, Steven considers it, not refusing the space to talk anymore. Despite his fear of Lars thinking badly of him, he speaks up.</p><p>“The thing is,” He sighs again. “I-I’ve been… feeling down lately. I used to enjoy working at Little Homeschool, but now I… I don’t know. I feel lost there, like there’s no point for me to stay anymore.”</p><p>Lars listens in silence and Steven bites his own lip, as he processes the past weeks.</p><p>“The older gems at the school are taking over some of the classes I used to give, too, so I’ve been able to have more day offs, except I tend to stay home the entire day. I don’t feel up to do anything… even if I try,” He sniffs. “Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst have been away more often, and my dad, too… it’s been really lonely at home. A-And everyone else, like Connie, t-they’ve been busy and happy…”</p><p>As he narrates his most recent routine, he practically views himself at home: a pathetic sad sack, stuck in his bed for the most part, watching movies on repeat, checking his phone every other minute to check for any notifications, any requests, only to find none. Sometimes he checks on his other friends through social media, and well, they’re going on with their lives.</p><p>“And even when the gems <em>are</em> home, I don’t feel like I want to spend time with them,” Steven continues. “But I-I try to be my usual self, because I don’t want them asking questions and stuff, and it worked… until they started getting worried, but I didn’t want to talk about it, and only after that I began forcing myself to leave the house more. To, y’know, pump myself up and not have them worrying; but the more I kept that up, the more lost I felt. The… <em>angrier</em> I felt. T-These pink episodes have only gotten worse…” He hiccups, also thinking on himself going to the woods to lash out at trees and Jasper, but he doesn’t mention that.</p><p>“Earlier today, the gems finally cornered me, right after I had a bad day. I-I got really annoyed at something that happened – some, uh, some gems that didn’t have such a good attitude at the school –, and so they got home to talk to me, but I didn’t want to.” He finds it harder retell, every single detail of the first argument coming to him with dread. “I was already in a bad mood, a-and they kept insisting, and insisting, saying my outbursts were getting out of control, that I <em>snapped</em>. I-I said…” His voice breaks for a moment, causing him to swallow a lump in his throat. “I said a lot of horrible things to them, things I didn’t even know I <strong>could</strong> say about them. Everything was- was a mess after that, and I was so mad and out of it that I left the house. T-That’s how I ended up here.”</p><p>He hears nothing from his friend, nor does Steven look for his reaction. The boy starts crying harder now that he’s haunted by the phone call.</p><p>“A-And just then, Pearl called me, along with Garnet and Amethyst. They wanted to know where I was, but I didn’t want them to find me,” Steven says. “I didn’t want to see them and- and explode like that again, but they <em>still</em> wanted to talk and demanded to know my location, that I did it <strong><em>again</em></strong>, I said even worse things to them, I-I told them to not bother looking for me, a-and Amethyst called me a jerk, and then I <em>destroyed my phone</em>…!”</p><p>In midst of his sobbing, he feels Lars taking one of his hands, leading Steven to squeeze it. The younger finally looks at him, and the older gives him a sympathetic expression.</p><p>“I r-ruined everything,” Steven whimpers.</p><p>“You didn’t,” Lars says, finally.</p><p>“I did! And I don’t even know why I got so mad!”</p><p>Lars exhales, thinks it through for some time before saying, “Steven, you said you were feeling unhappy and lonely, and you’ve been trying hard not to be. And while I don’t think it’s healthy for you to bottle up like that, you didn’t <em>want</em> to talk… and they still didn’t listen, right?”</p><p>Steven gapes for a moment.</p><p>“And I mean, they did it <em>twice</em>. You stated you didn’t want to talk, and they didn’t respect that two times now,” Lars clarifies. He then shrugs and reminds, “Well, you didn’t have to yell, sure, but it’s… reasonable why you’d be mad. It’s infuriating when people don’t listen to you, even more so when they insist on it.”</p><p>“But I…”</p><p>Much to his own surprise, Steven doesn’t have any counter arguments. He grows quiet, his frustration not as loud as it has been. He contemplates at the ceiling.</p><p>“I guess… I don’t think they actually listen to me most of the time.”</p><p>Lars hums, which makes Steven panic. He said that out loud.</p><p>“I-I mean- sorry, that came out wrong.” Steven immediately regrets it and is surprised yet again by what the other boy says.</p><p>“Dude, just say what you’re feeling. I’m not going to think any less of you.”</p><p>Steven’s cheeks burn, but not in rage. There are millions of thoughts racing in his head, even repressed ones he’s never explicitly shown to anyone before. So, he tries to be patient with himself, because it’s not going to be easy.</p><p>Eventually, he begins.</p><p>“It’s just, I don’t think they actually <em>get</em> me. Which I don’t blame them for, honestly, they’re gems. They don’t usually understand humans, so I get it. The thing is, they never <em>try</em> to understand. I guess they did today, but I didn’t… feel better. Still, I don’t know if that would be asking a lot from them, so I don’t say it, but…”</p><p>It’s difficult saying these things, about the people he loves so much. However, he doesn’t think he can handle all of them inside his heart for this long.</p><p>“I know they- they love me, and I can count on them to protect me and help me with things, but these are only the gem things. It feels like they’re never there when it’s about… <em>my</em> things,” Steven tries to explain it. “They didn’t even know I became a vegan for a month, that my tastes on movies and books changed, they thought I was still thirteen!”</p><p>After that, he says things without much filter.</p><p>“They- They never take me seriously! It usually takes me nearly dying for them to listen to me!” He raises his voice. “When it’s not that, Pearl gets stressed out and blames herself, Garnet just gives me <em>lessons</em> because she always <em>knows better</em>, and Amethyst keeps shoving her maturity on my face! I can’t say anything to them!”</p><p>He stops when he fears that he’s scaring Lars, but on the contrary, the other boy doesn’t look surprised, just… understanding. Concerned. Why isn’t he scared?</p><p>Lars seems to encourage him to keep going, not saying a word whatsoever.</p><p>“It’s…” Steven blinks away tears. “It’s so <em>unfair</em>. I’m always there for them. <strong><em>Always</em></strong>. I do everything I can to help them, I used to not understand anything about gem stuff, but then I went straight up to Homeworld to solve everything! And I mean, look at me now!” He gestures at his own pink aura. “But in the end, it’s like no one’s there for me! I’ll always end up stuck in an empty house, all on my own! I’ll never be <em>good enough!</em> ”</p><p>The rage is gradually replaced by defeat. By the same feeling of rejection that blinded him earlier. His chest hurts so bad, he feels like he’s going to die. Steven’s vision is pretty much blurred by tears and pink.</p><p>“So, why would they even care if I told them? Why would they when they’re never there?” He continues, not demanding an answer.</p><p>He hasn’t specified it to Lars, but… those last words he did tell the gems in the phone call. And some of the other things he just vented. Neither of them reacted too well, while it was nothing new; Pearl was offended, drowning in her own guilt, Amethyst got angry at him, hence why she called him a jerk, and Garnet just kept herself composed, advising him to breathe it out instead.</p><p>Steven knows he’s far from being right. He shouldn’t have sounded so furious when saying that, even if he had reasons to be. He does have himself to blame, too. That’s why he’s flawed, that’s why he’s…</p><p>… he’s human, too.</p><p>(Why is this such a revelation to him?)</p><p>A trembling sigh leaves him, whilst he confides in the hand squeeze, that reminds him that someone is there. Someone is listening to him.</p><p>“Look, don’t… d-don’t get me wrong, I love them so much. They’re my family.” Steven lowers his tone for once. “But I can’t take this anymore. All my life, I fought to save the Earth, I fought for the gems to be free, to be heard… but most importantly, I fought to be a Crystal Gem.” He pauses, yet when the following words come, he sobs again.</p><p>“I’m… I-I’m so <em>tired</em>, Lars. I’m so tired of having to fight to be heard. Of- Of always feeling like I have to prove that I’m worth their time.”</p><p>He ends there.</p><p>For a moment, he senses Lars’ hand tensing, and when he checks on his friend, he’s bearing the most pained, heartbroken expression Steven has ever seen.</p><p>“Oh, Steven…” Lars doesn’t know what to say.</p><p>That makes the black-haired teen sit back on the couch in alarm, especially when he realizes that the other is on the verge of tears.</p><p>“Oh no, Lars- a-are you okay?” Steven asks, even though the answer is right on his face. “It was too much, wasn’t it? I-I shouldn’t have said anything—”</p><p>“No- no, Steven…” Lars lowers the other’s hand. “Sorry, dude.”</p><p>“You don’t have to apologize, I’m the one who—”</p><p>“You’re not to blame, either. It’s how you feel.”</p><p>Uncertain, Steven stares at him in silence while Lars looks away for some minutes, maybe to process everything the half-gem has said. The boy lets him, knowing the weight of what has been inside his heart all along.</p><p>Ironically, the rain isn’t so loud outside. The storm is losing its forces again; and it actually remains that way, because neither of the teenagers speak up for an uncomfortable amount of time. In the back of his mind, Steven considers leaving for once, having caused enough trouble for him, but Lars is probably aware of that because he doesn’t let go of his hand at all.</p><p>(And if he’s being honest, it’s not all that bad.)</p><p>Lars’ breathing turns from apprehensive to thoughtful, and there’s a quiet sniff coming from him before he says anything.</p><p>“Man, I… I don’t even know what to say,” He admits. “I knew you didn’t like sharing your problems, but I never thought why. I didn’t imagine it’d be… all that.” He struggles with his choice of words.</p><p>Steven gulps, averting his gaze again; having most likely gotten it, Lars then grabs his attention by gripping one of his shoulders.</p><p>“Steven, I- I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m sorry they make you feel like that. I had no idea,” He says. “You… You really don’t deserve it, dude. You’re such a good person, and your voice deserves to be heard, too.”</p><p>The younger stares back, the squeeze on his shoulder becoming a little tighter. There’s honesty and compassion coming from Lars, that even after everything that happened, it still leaves Steven stunned. Lars has come such a long way, more open about his feelings. He remembers when his friend used to refuse any help, because he thought so little of himself. Because he was so scared, he thought he couldn’t do anything.</p><p>Now, Lars accepts himself for who he is. A baker, a space pirate, a pessimistic, grumpy and understanding teenage boy. Steven will never quit admiring him.</p><p>“Well, I hope the gems get around one day, because it’s not fair to you,” Lars resumes. “But until then… you can count on me with anything, okay? I’d be more than willing to help, even if it's just to listen.”</p><p>Steven gazes back with hopeful eyes. “Really?”</p><p>“Of course, you can trust me.” Lars grins. “Us Off Colors stick together, right?”</p><p>The boy laughs, his crying not ceasing, even though it’s not desperate anymore. “Right.”</p><p>A comfortable silence takes over the living room, everything somewhat settled between them. When that hits him, Steven feels the same fear coming to his gut. Not letting go of the blanket he’s wrapped in, he has something in his mind.</p><p>“Hey, Lars?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>He grabs part of the space-themed fabric and plays with it nervously.</p><p>“I… I d-don’t want to go home,” Steven admits, faintly remembering he could go home through the captain’s hair, thus rejecting it. “Can I stay here tonight?”</p><p>Lars pats his shoulder. “Sure, man.”</p><p>The lack of hesitation makes Steven laugh sadly.</p><p>“Gosh, I don’t think I can thank you enough for- for everything today,” He says.</p><p>“It’s no problem.”</p><p>The younger boy smiles, until his vision is refilled with water. He… He truly cannot be grateful enough for Lars. For him to be there and listen to every single anguish Steven has repressed for who knows how long. He wants to help Steven, he likes being his friend, even when he’s a mess, a sad, frustrated pink mess.</p><p>Finally, for the first time that night, the boy lets go of his guilt, of the tension trapping him. His body feels heavier, and so he leans against Lars, once again burying his face in his shoulder, as he shrinks into the cozy blanket. The older appears to freeze for a moment, and it almost drives Steven away; but he’s soon reassured that it’s okay.</p><p>There are firm hands on his shoulders, the kind of pressure that grounds him back to this sweet, warm home. He can’t contain a relieved sob, and so he reaches Lars’ back and clutches his dark sweater, a surface he’s not used to when it comes to his friend. It’s soft, fuzzy and welcoming, and in a way, that might say something about Lars.</p><p>In return, Lars hugs him with as much strength and protection. Steven is wracked with relief, whimpers escaping him. It’s a reason for the taller teen to squeeze him.  Outside, another thunder roars, but Steven doesn’t flinch anymore. He’s safe inside this home, in the other boy’s arms.</p><p>He finds it funny, really. As much as he followed Lars around, some part of Steven didn’t believe he would ever make him feel so secure. As the latter’s younger self worded it so long ago, their friendship is deep, but complicated.</p><p>Though, maybe, it’s not as complicated as everything else in Steven’s life.</p><p>His pink glow fades naturally.</p><p>They don’t let go for a whole eternity. It’s only after Lars releases the deepest breath that they’re facing one another; and even then, he doesn’t allow Steven to get out of his sight again, placing a hand on his arm and rubbing it with his thumb. There’s a moment where they just look at each other, eyes saying thousands of words, before Lars shakes him lightly with a little smile.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s patch you up,” He says. “I have an extra mattress, so you can sleep in my room instead of the couch.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah.” They both stand up and head to the stairs. In the way, Lars adds, “Consider this your first sleepover here.”</p><p>Steven snorts quietly in response, still carrying the blanket with him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“I didn’t even know you had sweaters like these.”</p><p>“I never wear them outside… I dunno, they feel too homey to me. Is it comfy?”</p><p>Steven has grabbed one of the few baggy sweaters Lars has stored and it fits him perfectly. He gives him a thumbs up in approval.</p><p>“Great. Here you go.” Lars presents him the personalized bed, and the half-gem proceeds to lie on it… and is tucked in by the former.</p><p>“Ah, you didn’t have to—”</p><p>“No one’s too old to be tucked in, Steven.”</p><p>While it’s a sweet gesture, he can’t help but remember the gems. Pearl and Garnet giving him sweet good nights, Amethyst bumping his shoulder and proceeding to attack everything in the fridge. Steven starts feeling terrible again.</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong?” Lars asks, reading his pained expression.</p><p>Steven sighs. “I feel… bad not letting the gems know I’m here, even if I don’t want to face them. I-It’s not like I can anyway, I don’t even have a phone anymore.”</p><p>Humming, the pink teenager gets something out of his pocket, revealing his cell phone.</p><p>“You have their numbers memorized, right? Or at least one of them?” Lars questions. “I can let them know you’re here.”</p><p>“W-Wait, you don’t need to do that. I don’t want to get you more involved—”</p><p>“Dude, don’t worry, I don’t mind it. I’ll just let them know you’re staying here for the night.”</p><p>Steven really dislikes doing this to his friend, but he complies, giving Pearl’s phone number. Lars then stands to his feet and quickly tells him, “I’ll be right back,” before leaving the room and closing the door behind him, so the boy doesn’t hear the conversation. Meanwhile, the half-gem groans to himself, hugging tightly to the longer blanket Lars got him and staring at one of the skyscrapers in the ceiling. He sees nothing but the gloomy clouds, taking note of a few raindrops on the glass. Steven then appreciates Lars’ wide room, realizing it hasn’t changed all that much since his last time there, before that potluck. It looks a little more organized, though.</p><p>He jumps when the door opens, and Steven already has questions.</p><p>“What did they say? Are they okay? Are they mad at me?”</p><p>Lars sits on the floor beside the mattress. “They were… really worried, but I don’t think they’re mad at you. Not anymore, I think. They understood you wanted to be here, so they were fine with that. Besides, even if they weren’t, it’s not like they can control you, right? You’re like, seventeen.”</p><p>Steven exhales in relief. “Yeah… okay. Thank you.”</p><p>“No biggie. You should try resting now,” Lars notes and gently makes the other lie down again. “I usually take some time to fall asleep, so let me know if you need anything, okay?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>The older boy chuckles and ruffles his curly hair for some time, then saying “Good night, Steven.”</p><p>The other laughs softly. “Good night, Lars.”</p><p>Lars heads to his bed, appearing to grab something and lies on it, the soft, orange lamp still on. Steven focuses on the sky above him again, realizing the clouds are moving slowly. Eventually, the boy begins seeing a couple stars shining beneath the quiet darkness.</p><p>He senses his own eyes sparkling at the sight, filled with hope again. He feels much better with Lars in the room, hearing his calm breaths from afar, and the smell of wood that’s… not quite like the one in the beach house, but pleasant all at same. He’s glad he’s not lost anymore, and that he’s feeling safe and… and loved again.</p><p>Steven drifts off to sleep with a satisfied smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*chuckles* I'm lonely and I want to be comforted, yeaaah</p><p>Before anyone sends me hate, I'd like to once again clarify that <b>this story was in no means to hate on the Crystal Gems</b>. I love Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst with all my heart, and I know they really love Steven, too. However, we can't push aside that they did contribute to Steven's less than healthy self-esteem and self-worth issues. Besides, his frustration is the main focus here, though I tried my best not to be overly extreme towards the gems. This fic was mostly inspired by a Tumblr post that analyzed the Crystal Gems' parenting in the best way I saw, that spoke a lot to me personally --&gt; https://universallywriting.tumblr.com/post/190221577928/angry-steven-essay-1-ignoring-your-kids-and-the</p><p>The hug scene was also /kinda/ based on that hug from Treasure Planet? I think I have a thing for space pirates with feelings lmao --&gt; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Fbfo33mXs (hope it's not blocked in your country)</p><p> </p><p>On a completely different note, it was my brother's birthday last Friday! Everyone wish a late happy birthday to him, and thank him because he's the reason these Lars &amp; Steven stories exist :')</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>